Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Jury Duty

I wonder if it's coincidence that the day after I decide to start a blog, I receive a jury duty summons. This is way too good to pass up the opportunity to blog.

Now, I know it's everyone's civic duty to report for jury duty. The judicial system is crucial to our American way of life. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty and has a right to a trial by peers - ya da ya da ya da. The fact that I've made it 30 years since officially becoming an "adult" and have not been called to report for jury duty before now is, within itself, a minor miracle - or major miracle. I guess I should be honored that the computer generated my name from all of the hundreds it has to choose from. I'm not!

When I pulled the pink card from the stack of mail and read that I needed to report, I immediately began thinking of every possible reason why I should not have received the card in the first place. Reason #1 - did they not look at the last name? Hello! Surely, the spouse of the editor of the local paper would not be a good person for the jury pool. I might be privy to inside information on cases that was shared off the record with reporters. I'm not - but I could be!

Reason #2 - One of the judges in town and I are acquaintenances. His daughter and mine play on the same basketball team. I see him every weekend. He has his big, black judges robe - I have my big, black clergy robe. Surely, this should eliminate me from the jury pool.

Reason #3 - I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO IT!!! And of course, it's all about what I want! Oh wait, maybe it's not.

My dad always told me that there are two sure ways to be eliminated from a jury pool. The first is to say, "Excuse me," "Say again," or "huh?" and ask the attornies to repeat the question thereby feigning deafness. (My sincerest apologies to my deaf friends! And also to my attorney friends!) The other is to take a look at the defendent, scowl and say, "That dirty so-and-so looks guilty to me." I can't vouch for either of these tactics, since I've never been called, but he swore by them. I guess spending 25 years working for the federal government in the military prison at Fort Leavenworth taught him a thing or two!

So here I sit brooding and and cursing the little pink card until a week from Thursday when I make my phone call to see if I have to report on Friday morning. I know full well that the probability of my having to report are slim and, even if I do, I'll probably go and sit at the courthouse for a while only to be told "Thanks, but we don't need your services." So, perhaps I should stop feeling sorry for myself and concentrate on more important things. Like having to have my driver's license renewed!

Blessings!
Amy

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